Prince Albert is a royal prick. He’s the most famous one on the planet – wealthy, gorgeous, and a notorious playboy. He’s also the most conceited, insufferable, arrogant man I’ve ever met. Did I mention he’s a freaking prince? An actual, real life Prince Not-So-Charming. He’s tattooed and pierced, too. Prince Albert has a Prince Albert piercing. That's right – he's pierced you-know-where. Allegedly. I’ve never seen it. My mother is marrying a king. Being a princess is every girl’s fantasy, right? Except that means Albie is my new stepbrother. Oh, and one more thing -- I accidentally married him. We’re keeping the biggest secret on the planet. Ever heard the fairy tale about the Princess and her stepbrother? Yeah, I didn’t think so. I’m royally screwed.